You’re my true north when I’m headed south
My constant solid ground
You are my lantern in the night
When I’m twisted up and shaken
You’re the one I put my faith in
Yeah, you’re the reason I survive
Last fall I was rocking a baby while looking at apple footprint art on the classroom wall. I was so happy with how they turned out and knew just how I wanted to do them next year. That’s when I felt a gnawing ache in my stomach. It was as if God had caught my gesturing hand mid-wave and softly said, “Next fall is not yours to plan. Something is going to change. I’ll give you the time and energy you need to finish college, but after that the future is in My hands.”
It was a daunting message, to have your time suddenly limited. I had an inkling about what would happen, but I still felt all twisted up and shaken inside. Like the base plate had popped out of a Lego house and pieces were breaking loose. What’s more, some pieces were about to be lost. For those first few months, nothing felt steady. Wonderful opportunities kept popping up, but I had to turn down all but one because of college. My heart was frantic to cling to something stable. However, it wasn’t until I surrendered everything to God’s direction that I found my way through the uncertainty.
Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path. ~ Psalm 119:105 NKJV
You keep me steady when the sky is falling
And I’ll keep steady after You
I’ll carry on when my strength is failing
Take heart cause You’re with me
So let the stars drop, whatever comes, I’ll be ready
Cause You keep me steady
You keep me steady
So what happened from there? Did God’s message come true? Did something change this fall? The answer is yes. For months I watched the time pass just outside of my grasp. I had to surrender a lot and let God do His work while I did mine. He fulfilled His promise with perfectly precise timing, because the day I finished college, I also started packing. The change God hinted at that fall day is that my family and I would be packing up our home and moving to the Black Hills of South Dakota, and today I’m in the middle of those spirals of change.
I’ve never done anything like this before, nor was I prepared for the rollercoaster of emotions it has led to. Some days it feels like the sky is falling, and I just want to hide in bed with the covers pulled over my head. Other days my heart is filled with a peace I can’t explain. Somehow even when nothing feels stable, God has kept my heart steady. So I get up each day and work from a strength that is not my own. I take heart because I know I’m not alone. And like a falling star, God has sprinkled my soul with the exact amount of courage I need to sort through the next pile, pack the next box, and throw away the next bad memory. This steady provision reminds me that whatever comes, God will be with me.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:6-7 NKJV
You’re a river, You cover me
When the bombs fall, You’re the cavalry
Somehow You’re always standing right by my side
So no matter what I will be facing
I will not be over-taken
And You are the only reason why
My whole life has been a series of doors. I get through one, walk for a while, run into another, wait, pray, knock, wait some more, and finally make it through only to run into another door. I’m used to challenges and difficulties. However, throughout this whole process, every door my family approached practically crumbled in our path. Everything has gone so smoothly! In fact, the one time something actually did come up, we all just stared at each other in confusion and the problem was solved by dinner time. Clearly, God is invested in this move. He has covered every cost, blocked every problem, and has had a constant cavalry fighting on our behalf. Somehow God is always standing right by my side.
That’s why my heart can be steady in this season of change. My friend reminded me of this last week when she said, “Courage is not the absence of fear. Your bravery stems from God’s presence with you and your obedience in hard things.” That’s all God asks really. Not that we face the waves and the winds alone, but that we listen to His voice when the storm starts to howl. Because when we face the world with God, nothing can truly overtake us. He keeps us steady.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. ~ Isaiah 43:2 NKJV
You’re my hiding place, my home
And fear cannot invade these four walls
I need You near, I need You here
I love my home and the hiding place it has offered me. I love my new home in South Dakota too, especially the feeling of safety and freedom that wells up inside me when I’m there. But I’m learning that the home my heart truly longs for is not made of bricks, stone, wood, or plaster. It’s made of gold and precious gems. It’s where God lives, but the Spirit of God also lives in me. He provides a shelter around my heart that fear cannot invade, that keeps me steady when my world is shaking. So as long as God is near and here with me, I am at home.
No matter the year, fall seems to be a season of change. Are there any changes going on in your life? If so, I hope my story encourages you. No matter what is going on, big or small, God is with you. He can grant you peace in the storm. He can keep your heart steady and provide the endurance you need to receive His coming promise. Remember that today.
Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise: ~ Hebrews 10:35-36 NKJV
All is Grace, Esther Noe
P.S. If you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to like, comment, and share! In September of 2020, I wrote a blog post about fall and change. You can read it here.
Disclaimer: I own no rights to this song. These are simply my reflections on it. All credit goes to For King & Country and their producers. All lyrics were found on youtube.com.